Spencer Toots are Scarey

I have been saving this story because it is one of the better ones. Spencer has lower digestive tract issues. He lets one slide about every 15 minutes. Yes, of course it is his diet. His garbage picking, people food eating, chocoholic ways. Drinking out of the toilet, kitty litter appetizers. I'm surprised his ass hasn't blown out yet.

Anyway, one day we are all sitting in the family room, enjoying a movie and Spencer lets on rip. It made noise! It sounded like a fart from a fart tract on a tv show. Which on it's own would have cracked us up. We all enjoy a little fart humor every now and a again. But it was how Spencer reacted to his own fart that just about killed us. As we hear the fart, Spencer, who was laying on the floor sleeping, jumped up and ran like someone was chasing him out of the room. We were hysterical with laughter. Who ever saw a dog scared by his own fart? He came back and stuck his head in the doorway, looking at all of us like "did you guys HEAR that????" his expression and hesitance to come back in and lay down sent us into more giggles. Tears streaming down our faces, not from laughter but from the stench. Because although this was hysterically funny fart, it still was a dog fart with all the layers of whatever he had eaten that day.

We thought this may be a one time occurrence from the meatloaf he pulled off of the stove. But no! This is an ongoing thing! This dog farts out loud and runs scared like he can get away from it. The best is when he is laying on the couch, sound asleep and he lets one rip and he looks like a cartoon dog because his legs start running before the hit the floor. And he always comes back, looking like he just survived some deadly sneak attack from his ass.

What really gets us rolling is when he farts, runs away, comes back, just gets settled and then farts again and jumps up and runs in a circle. I have to wonder what he is thinking. I thought at first he was just trying to get out of responsibility for the fart. Like if he distracted us by running from the room, we wouldn't question who farted. If he acted like he was scared of the noise then he could deny the embarrassment and smell. But maybe I am giving him to much credit. Maybe he really is scared of his own farts. The vibration, the idea. Maybe he didn't know where the smell came from before, but now, there is no denying where it comes from.

Maybe the fart propels him from his current position into a need for speed. The sounds that come out of his tail-less behind are classic. The smell is deadly. Unfiltered by a tail. And when we got him as a puppy, I thought his tail-less butt wagging was going to be his best feature. Little did I know it would be his old man farts.

But maybe just maybe he does it intentionally for his own amusement. Because when he does this, his reaction, his full body reaction to his own farts, makes US jump a mile. We have no warning when all of the sudden this huge mutt sleeping soundly on the floor is going to spring up and like a bull in a china shop (who has just farted loudly) sprint from the room. The effect is kind of like when you are just sitting there, reading, not paying attention and someone jumps up and screams and runs from the room. Startling. I do believe it is at least a contributing factor to my on going PTSD.